SFH #98: Where to find answers 🙌🏽

A mantra with suggested instructions

All the answers you seek are within you.

My mother-in-law Joyce loved to recite this line to her children. For me, it's a message that historically would induce an eye roll. 👀 It's not that I don't believe it; it's that I've had a difficult time connecting with it. If the answers were within, why does it feel so challenging to find solutions or peace inside?

I do look back and reflect that my time running, cycling, and swimming for hours on end provided me a sense of calm—even a sense of deep inner knowing. It was as if I was accessing the 'answers' without knowing I was accessing them. And, as the seasons and reasons in my life have changed, my calm has felt more like rough seas in recent years. 🌊 Even as I turn back to fitness and look for a physiological wake-up call, it just doesn't ring the same bell that it used to. So, how do I find the answers inside myself now?

I've tried a diverse set of methods, including modern therapy like EMDR to peer reflective groups to self-reflective prompts like RAIN, where I can journal my thoughts. I don't feel like there is one correct method for me (or anyone). And what works currently may shift later on, as with my endurance example above. What I have seen, though, are two steps that come up consistently in every method for finding the answer within myself.

  1. A relaxed state. It can be stillness. It can be quiet. It can be your body in a flow state. Whether I'm working out, sitting in therapy, or focusing on my breath when I access a relaxed state, I can notice thoughts and feel the emotions behind them. 🧘🏼

  2. A turnaround. The turnaround comes for me from the relaxed state when I'm stuck in a pattern. I find myself analyzing, projecting, and feeling resistant to my reality. Usually, I feel the turnaround as the 'right' prompt comes up from the relaxed state. It can be a question; it can be a new way of seeing a thought; it can be a visual that bursts into my head, and sometimes can even be the resistance popping like a bubble all of a sudden. 💭

I do believe the answers are inside of us. We simply have to practice the extraction process.