SFH #212: Bringing Out the Shadow
A long time coming 👤
It was about 7 years ago when I first cracked open a book called"The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" by Debbie Ford. It was my first introduction to the ‘shadow self’, in which Ford encourages readers to confront and integrate their hidden, often negative traits and emotions.
It was recommended to me at a time in my life when I was waking up deeply unhappy and stressed. I masked and distracted the pain I felt with the abusive use of cannabis and alcohol (and in peak self sabotage pursuing women outside of my marriage). I felt in a spiral of deep shame that I didn’t know how to unwind. This is where I began to slowly unpack why I chose to hurt myself and Lisa (my wife at the time) instead of facing my issues head on.
So how does one unpack shame and poor choices in life?
Ford argues that by acknowledging and embracing our repressed aspects, individuals can achieve greater self-awareness, healing, and personal growth. The book provides practical exercises and insights to help readers identify their shadows, understand their origins, and transform these aspects into positive forces in their lives. Ultimately, she promotes the idea that embracing the full spectrum of one's personality leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
While I could intellectually understand the concept and the practices it was a whole other story to stay vulnerable and change my patterns. It has taken a real rewiring of my brain and my emotional self to write this and be in this place in my life. My practice of understanding and embracing my shadow has been comprehensive and still continues. I’ve done EMDR therapy, men’s group peer work, meditation, consistent journaling, consuming of books/podcasts/articles, and a diverse mix of other therapeutic excercises and opportunities including retreats (psychedilic infused sometimes). Seven years into this work I can confidently say it is a part of my health routine to stay aware and open to the unsavory parts of myself. I continue to embrace and integrate with compassion and understanding.
This inner work reaches far and wide and does not always come with the moniker of ‘shadow’. A newer concept as one example is Internal family systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is based upon the idea that every person has multiple sub-personalities which can be in conflict with each other. This can lead to problematic habits and behaviors. The goal of IFS therapy is to help people identify and accept the different parts of themselves and heal the parts that are wounded.
I want to give you more insight and details to my journey, I just need to contemplate what that looks like in this format. In this blog, I intend to convey the honest and authentic side of my journey toward holistic health.
Today, I’ll leave you with the following baseline.
Carl Jung was the first to introduce the concept of the "shadow" as part of his broader theory of the psyche. He described the shadow as the unconscious and repressed aspects of the personality that individuals often deny or are unaware of. These aspects can include desires, fears, and weaknesses that are not in line with one's self-image or societal expectations.
Several of the practices I've read and seen trace their roots back to Jung, and they all take dedication and persistence to implement.
It is Jung's belief that artistic pursuits provide an outlet for expressing and understanding shadow elements through activities such as drawing, painting, and writing.
As a means of tracking patterns and uncovering hidden aspects of oneself, he encouraged individuals to journal and reflect deeply on their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
He also believed that dreams are a window into the unconscious mind. By analyzing dreams, individuals can identify symbols and themes that reveal shadow aspects. Dream journaling, even if short and sweet can be an access point.
While meditation and mindfulness are often seen as modern trends, even Jung advocated practicing mindfulness to become more aware of one's thoughts and feelings in the present moment, making it easier to recognize and address shadow aspects as they arise.
And of course, working with a therapist or analyst trained in these methods can facilitate your process. I can certainly attest that a good therapist can provide guidance and support in exploring and integrating the shadow.
Happy Saturday ☀️
Sincerely,
Brian